blank page

I hate the blank page.  As someone who loves to write, putting words to paper, the idea of wanting to write, but not knowing what to write or how to begin can be depressing.   Today is one of those days.  And normally that's when I just say, forget it, and don't post anything, but I'm forcing myself today, because this is supposed to be a spiritual discipline—to keep up my writing and to practice getting my words out of my head/heart and out where others can benefit from it.  

 

The phrase "blank page" reminds me of the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.  I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times by now, since it is on every commercial nowadays, but here's a sampling of the lyrics:

 

I am unwritten,

Can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning,

 The pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate

The words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

 ["Unwritten" lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

What a freeing song!  I think that's why I like it so much.  It speaks to those deep, closely kept questions in our heart that we all have:   what will we be?  What will we look like?  How will we be unfolded before others to see?   Will we be unfolded?  We don't want to be exposed, but we do want to be revealed. 

 

"The creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed."   (Romans 8: 19 TNIV)  What is this revelation?  I believe it is when we understand who we really are in Christ and what he has and continues to do in our lives.   I believe it is when the blank page of our lives suddenly begins to have writing on it…when we begin to live in this amazing grace to our fullness.  "Live full lives in the fullness of God!" (paraphrase of Ephesians 3:19)  Am I there yet?  No way, but that's where I want to be, to be reaching for.

 

One of my favorite quotes is one I found through John Eldredge by Saint Iraenus:  "The glory of God is man fully alive."  God receives glory (significance, value, weight, honor) when we, his creation, is fully alive, living out of our purpose and out of our core being.   It is when we pass from just "doing" to "being."  And Gil Bailie wrote: "Do not ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and go do that.  Because what the world needs are men who have come alive."   This is the quote on my signature for my email to remind me and all who get my emails that the world needs us to be alive!

 

It is my prayer as I look at the blank pages before me, as many behind me have been written, but more lay ahead, that I would truly live in those pages and not just endure to the end or clock in my time.   And when I look at the blank pages of my church, in its fetal stages, the book barely cracked open and the binding not bent, I pray that the stories and words that fill it will be ones of love and hope and life.  

 

I guess I did have something to say today.

ranting

There is s a commercial on TV lately advertising for an area pastor who broadcasts his Sunday morning services.   The ad shows a clip from his sermon, screaming and flailing his arms around.  That's all fine, if that's what gets it for you, but it was the last statement that got me angry.  

 

"If God won't heal you right now, He'll never heal you." 

 

What the crap?  Where is that in scripture?  What picture does that paint of God?  

 

So if the person in need of help and healing doesn't get it instantaneously, does that mean it's their fault?   That God hasn't deemed them worthy of healing?  Is it because they are not "good enough" or jumped through enough hoops to get healed?

 

Again, what picture does that paint of God…of grace?

 

I keep coming back to these thoughts about how I've been taught about God.  I can't seem to shake it.   For so many years I've been taught by men and women of God that I have to do, be, give, walk, pray, think, confess, feel a certain way or God would not be on my side, not be available to me.  Essentially, God is watching and waiting for me to go through the obstacle course to get to him and get what I need from him, and if I screw it up, "back to the beginning…start all over!"  

 

I know I've written about this before, and you're probably getting sick of it, but I have to talk about it, I have to wrestle with this.   This is for my survival; this is for my detox from religion. 

 

The writer of Hebrews wrote that because of the sacrifice of Jesus, because of his resurrecting from the dead, we can now "come BOLDLY to the throne of grace."   This doesn't sound like jumping through hoops and clearing moralistic hurdles to prove my worthiness…my worthiness was settled in the cross. 

 

This doesn't mean I don't think we should be intentional about our walk with God and desire to grow through spiritual disciplines.   But our status with God, our relationship with God is not based upon what I offer or don't offer him.  I cannot accomplish what Jesus has already done for me.   No amount of performance can make me look better in his eyes. 

 

I remember a friend I had in Bible College my freshman year wrote in my yearbook, remember, God can't love you more today than he did yesterday and he will not love you any less or more tomorrow.   His love is constant toward you.  I can't influence his level of love for me.  He loves.   He is love.  I just have to dwell in it, rest in it, trust it, enjoy it.

 

Those who commit to this legalistic, performance view of following God must be most miserable, especially those who teach it and promote it, because this thought and ideology is never full, never enough.   Rob Bell used the altar to the angry gods idea to illustrate this.  (See my post on Rob's tour.)  There is always more that has to be given and sacrificed because we have to stay in good so that the blessing remains on our lives.   I think this is why some of have had some extravagant failures before the whole world.  The pressure to keep up the game, to work so hard to prove your good enough, worthy enough, in good with God enough, opens a door for exhaustion and temptation that belies a hypocrisy hidden in their heart:   it doesn't work this way!  It can't. 

 

I think this is one reason why those who pastor/preach this way continue to demand more and more of their followers, because they have to keep the machine going, otherwise they might find out who's "behind the curtain."   It becomes this vicious cycle that only continues until someone either jumps out or the curtain comes crashing down and everyone discovers that it doesn't work!

 

I believe there is a new day coming to the church.  It is a day of awakening that our spiritual duties we've put so much stock in, though good on it's own, face value sort of way, doesn't qualify as proof of our status with God or grant us special favor from him.   No, it is by grace that we're saved, and by grace that we live, and by grace we are kept.

Santa vs Jesus MAC Commercial

This is a great video done by friends of mine at the church we attend. Hope you enjoy it.

support

A while back I told someone that I see myself filling a support role in almost everything I do.  When I look back at my life and the jobs that I've had, the ministries I've been in, I always seem to be in a support role, helping other people fulfill what they have to do.   Even now, as an "administrative assistant," I find myself "assisting" other people get their projects and other assignments done. 

 

I was kind of pondering this one day, wondering how this role I seem to play all the time either work or have to change as I take on the pastor hat again.   For years, I learned either by implication or by actual messages, that the leader takes the front and everyone follows.  (Typical CLB teaching.)   And honestly I would get frustrated about that sometimes, as I don't always feel comfortable with the leader role.  Even though I was a full-time pastor for eleven years, and even led groups as the primary pastor/leader, I always saw myself as the supporter of our senior pastor and his vision.   (This is actually what got me "in trouble" in the end, as I was accused of supporting the wrong person.  To this day, God has yet to tell me I was wrong.)

 

My pondering led to me to this thought, a shepherd is one who supports the sheep.  Yes, he leads them, but it's his loving support that endears them to him and makes them trust him.   It's not about his great communication skills or strategic planning that causes them to follow, but his support and love.  They know that their shepherd lives with them and will be there for them.   He supports them, with love and wisdom and guidance. 

 

Maybe this is why I play a support role in life.  I enjoy helping other people find their place in life and in faith.   I love watching them connect with God in a new and exciting way.  I love to bring a new way of looking at God's word to them that they "get it."

 

Maybe this is why the CEO model of ministry and pastoring/church is failing and people are rejecting it.  CEO doesn't look out for the people under him, but only for the bottom line and the expansion of the business.  But a pastor can come up underneath someone and help them, support them, cheer them on to their destinies, and in the long run fulfill their own.  

 

I guess I'm okay with my support role, though now it's becoming a bit more complex.  At least I know I'm used to it!    

glory

Glory to God in the highest…

 

We sing that phrase a lot this time of year in all kinds of Christmas carols.  I always think about all the people who have no real relationship to Christ or the church, but every year as they walk through their malls or at home while decorating their Christmas trees, sing these words and others like them.   I wonder how much of these words get into their heart.  How many of them realize that at that moment, they are offering praise to a God that they have not yet met, but loves them more than they can imagine.

 

Makes me think that God had this planned from the beginning…because if God's word cannot come back to him void, and many are singing the very words sometimes that comes from scripture, is there something happening they don't know or can't see?   Is God right there with them…ministering life to them?  Is he lifting burdens they've never asked to have lifted?   Is he 'wooing' them with his love, stirring their heart to know this God? 

 

The word glory is often defined from the original languages of scripture as "weight" or "significance."  Could it be that instead of this glowing light we imagine glory to be that rests on saint's heads, that glory is really the weight of who he is?  The value you place on someone in your life adds to their weight.   We say "we give weight to their words."  We place value on their spot in our lives.  We give them glory.  

 

The scripture says that the whole earth is filled with the glory of God.  And for years I thought that meant there would be a tangible presence of God in every place on earth.   But maybe what it really means is that the significance and relevance of God is displayed in every corner of the globe? 

 

If glory is the weight or value or significance that we place on God, then glory isn't just something that comes with God, but it's something that we offer God; something that we give out of our very beings.   The more we do it, the more we see him in our day to day life.  The more we see him, the more tangible his presence comes to our mind and hearts.   The more tangible he is in our lives, the more others can experience him…his glory covers the earth.

 

What do you and I give significance to?  What value do we place on God's position in our lives?   Where do we offer him glory?  When we do we participate in the filling of the earth with all that he is.  Give him glory!

fear factor

I had the privilege to go and hear Rob Bell speak in Pittsburgh this Saturday.  It was his "The God's Are Not Angry" speaking tour.  It was a great experience.  Traveled there with my wife, my pastor, and my friends Stephen and Craig.   Outside of the awful seats, it was a wonderful time. 

 

In this tour, Rob is unpacking how religion has capitalized on an ancient, ingrained part of our human psyche which makes us feel as though we have to perform to make sure the "gods" aren't angry with us.   And he used the picture of altar in ancient culture to make this point.  He talked about how before Christ and before the revelation of Jehovah God, the ancient cultures worshipped the forces that affected their lives, building altars on which they would offer sacrifices when things were going bad to get the gods on their side.   And when things were going good, they'd offer part of their blessings back to their gods to make sure they stayed in good standing.  It became a vicious cycle because whether it was a good time or bad time, you were always offering more and more to ensure you had not offended, or beg forgiveness if you did offend, the gods.

 

How he explained it was that for the ancient cultures, their lives were dependant on how they blessed their gods.   But into the midst of this ideology, here comes Jehovah revealing himself to Abraham…who just wants to bless him.  It wasn't about what Abraham could do for God, but what God wanted to do for and through Abraham.   Even to the point of taking Abraham to offer Isaac, it wasn't that God just wanted to test Abraham's loyalty, but to show Abraham that he was not like the other gods, who routinely wanted their followers to offer their best (even their children), but that he would provide even for the offering that his only child would not have to be lost.

 

Of course, going down through the centuries and here comes Jesus on the scene saying, I'm the way, I'm the truth.   Here he is changing the old way of relating to God.  He makes himself the sacrifice, doing for us what we could never have done.

 

But the part that is so much more powerful to me is the fact that we are still living with this ancient mentality in 2007, especially when you look at the charismatic church and current movements within it.   In the CLB and on religious broadcasting, all you have to do is listen for 10 minutes and you'll hear the undercurrent of fear being capitalized on to get believers to live, believe, give or act a certain way:

 

There is fear that if you don't give, not just your tithe, but your offering as well, that God will not be on your side, that he will leave you defenseless.   There is fear that if you don't do everything the leader/pastor/apostle wants you to do that you will be out from under "your covering" and the blessing of God will be stopped in your life. There is fear that if you don't do your devotions just right, pray and read your Bible everyday for a certain amount of time, you will not be able to fight the enemy and you will be attacked daily until you "get right."  

 

Now, please understand I'm not saying that we don't need to be participating in our spiritual disciplines and growing in our relationship with God, but what the Body of Christ could do without is this fear factor that puts words in God's mouth.

More to come on this…

more lessons learned

The message of grace is so foreign to many Christians.  From the time I was two, I was raised in church, learning what it meant to serve Jesus.   And most of the messages I heard were those of the "do not's."  It was the message of "followers of Jesus don't do this and don't do that."   We were quick to identify what sin was.  (Basically anything the preacher at that time especially hated.) 

 

But looking back now, I'm realizing the lack of identification with grace.  It was simply explained as "God's Riches At Christ's Expense." (Modern Christianity is a pro at taking a hugely profound and complex theological component such as grace and boiling it down to a bumper sticker logo.)   Okay, that's nice, but what did it suppose to mean? 

 

We sang "Amazing Grace."  It reminded us of what wretches we were without a chance, except for God's grace.   I learned that grace was the good will of God to let a sinner like me into his heaven and that it was only because of Jesus that he would do that.  There was always a "whew!" kind of feeling when it came to grace, like getting out of trouble and not having to go to the principal's office. 

 

But there is so much more!!  Grace is the love of God in action toward us.   It is not "just because of Jesus" that we can be saved and enter God's family, it's because of God's great love for us that he went to that extent to make room for us in his family.   His love is not based on what we do or where we've come from or how perfect I walk now that I know him, either.  His love is bigger than that.

 

It is his grace that keeps me wanting more of him.  How could I not, when no matter what screw-up I get myself into, he still loves me, and will walk me out of it.   How could I not, when he says that he loves me even before I could know anything about me.  How could I not be amazed by his grace?   This is why the scriptures say, "it's your kindness, Lord, that leads us to repentance." 

 

Have you ever had someone give you something and then later keep reminding you of what they gave you, as if you should owe them something, or everything, because they gave it to you?   Church taught me that I don't have to do anything to get God's love and forgiveness, but to keep it I have to work like…  But again that is not the picture of grace I see in the scripture now.   Now, I understand that my works and desire to live right is a response to this grace I've encountered and received, not because I'm afraid to lose it.  He wants me to live out of his grace and not be afraid of running out of it.  

 

More to come…

venting

You probably are sick of hearing about this.  Other blogs are probably been writing about it, but I've not had a chance to even look around my favorites lately.   But here's the scoop: six prominent TV evangelists are being investigated by the Senate to ensure that their lavish lifestyle and fundraising is not crossing the lines of propriety…and the law.  

 

I have to say this…I'm glad.  Yes, when ministers are put in the spotlight for questionable, or even proven wrong behavior, it puts a bad light on all ministers, churches and the body of Christ.   But someone has to call us to a place of accountability and many of these evangelists (though most wouldn't call themselves that) are far removed from any real accountability.   And unfortunately, many people who want to be like them follow their example and teaching, leaving a wake of wounded, disillusioned people behind them.

 

When I was in the CLB, I heard a lot of the same teaching as these ministers teach; most were promoted and recommended to us.   We had several similar ministries coming through the church and at conferences, but one in particular stood out to me. 

 

One guy came in a taught on prosperity at a conference we hosted.  In it he talked about his collection of luxury or high-end cars he had.   (I can't remember how many but it was more than five or six.)  These cars were worth a lot of money.  Then he goes on to tell us how he was believing God for a "new jet."  He had a plane already, but needed a new one, and was "believing God" to receive what he "needed".   Not to mention his Rolex watch he liked to talk about.  I guess all of this was supposed to make us all realize that if you were spiritual like him, you would get rich like him.  

 

The only thing I came out of it with was anger.  I don't have a problem with having nice things.   And I do believe that there must be an increase in prosperity in God's children's lives if we are to further the gospel like we need to.  I do believe it is plan of the enemy to keep us focused on our need and caught in debt, which will stall the furthering of the gospel.  

 

But I also believe it's the ploy of the enemy to keep us focused on the things we have rather than what we could do with what we already have.   When I was sitting in that service, I wanted to stand up and say, "God has already given you the money for your new plane, sitting in your garage!  Why do you need to 'believe' anymore, making people feel guilty enough to give you more money which you don't really need?  Sell your ….  cars and buy the ….  plane." 

 

I don't know where to go in this post, or what I'm really trying to say outside of venting, but I do hope in the light of this investigation and with all that's going on at ORU, that a reality check will come these that preach and have the people's trust.  

 

Yes, I do affirm a place for blessing in the people of God, but not to the place of excess where those who do not know Him are turned away because they are disgusted by the display they see, not to mention those of us who do know him and are just as disgusted.  

 

God save us from ourselves.

following the cloud, part two

The children of Israel lived with this tension of faith with God everyday they wandered in the desert.  For forty years, they pitched their tents under God's cloud of protection and covering, but at any moment the cloud could lift up and begin to move, and if it did, it was their signal to getting packing because they were on the move again.

 

They would follow that cloud and wherever it settled, they would settle.  But never with long term plans to stay, no matter how long it had been since the last move, because without warning God may come and mess up their plans.  

 

How has or will God show up in your personal walk of faith?  How will he "mess" up your plans?   Is the cloud moving in your life?

 

Just like Abram sitting on his back porch pondering the mysteries of life, and God showing up to challenge him to dream bigger, think deeper and live freer, so God will come to us and challenge us to step outside the lines and go on an adventure with Him.   If we do, we just might find ourselves changing our world. 

 

God has called all of us to be a blessing.  But a blessing only becomes a blessing when it is broken and given away.   When Jesus fed the five thousand, it only happened in the breaking of the bread, because if it had stayed in the state it was in, only one piece, it would never have multiplied.  

 

There is a breaking that happens when God calls us to be a blessing.  It is the breaking of our wills to submit to another higher, greater dream than our own comfort and our own plans.   It is the realization that the great God of the universe knows better what we need than we do…and where we will best fit. 

 

There is a story in the Gospels that seems hard and strange.  Jesus is calling some people to follow him, and they refuse telling him they have to bury their parents first, then they'll come to which He says, "Let the dead bury the dead."  

 

What?  How cruel!  But if you study this passage out, you find that Jesus wasn't making light of their loss, but rather, they were making the excuse to him that they couldn't follow him until their parent's had died and they buried them, then they would come and follow him.  

 

He was messing up their plans.  They were settled and believed their plans were more important.   But Jesus reminded them…the Kingdom is at hand, right here, right now.  What will you do with it?

 

Will we allow the King to mess up our plans?  Will we allow him to lead us to a place we never have been before?  

 

What of Abram?  What happened to him will happen to us, if we only will follow when the cloud moves…

 

"Then God took Abram up and showed him the land and said, look to the north, south, east and west, and wherever you can see, I have given to you and your descendants.   And the whole world will be blessed because of you." (John's paraphrase)

 

Do not be afraid to dream in the day of God messing up your plans.

 

Do not be afraid that where he will lead you will be less than what you can dream.

 

Do not be afraid that he will take from you and leave you desolate, without him and alone.

 

Because He comes to mess with us when He is making us into someone, something…a blessing the whole world can receive.

following the cloud, part one

Abram thought he had it made.  He was successful.  He had a good family, lots of servants and livestock.   He was established and his "five-year plan" looked like he was on track.  He had a religious life as well, though he had misgivings about exactly who or what he was worshipping, he was faithful to follow in the footsteps of his ancestors.  

 

Then one day, the one true God showed up.  And messed everything up.  

 

He was alone on the back porch one night, pondering the skies, feeling content with his life, when he heard a voice.   The voice, scary, intense, yet compelling him to listen, to obey.

 

"I have a plan for you.  If you will obey me, you will find more fulfillment than you ever have known.   I am the one true God and I have created you to know and love me and to be known and to be loved.  I have chosen you that through you the whole world will be blessed…

 

But you have to leave."

 

Imagine what went through Abram's mind:  What?  Are you serious?   I just built my life here.  I just settled down.  I just bought my 100^th cow.   I just buried my mother, and my father needs me.  And I really don't know you from Adam…what did you say your name was again??

 

But what was greater than all of the doubts and the confusion that he must have felt at that moment was the thought that he had finally met the one true God…and that he was chosen.   He had all that this life could offer, but still his heart's desire was to be the center of someone's heart, the apple of someone's eye…to be someone.   And here the great God of the universe was standing before him and telling him that he had been chosen to change the world!!

 

What an adventure.  What a mission.  Wait…if I'm leaving, where am I going?

 

"To a city you don't know."  Huh?

 

Basically God called Abram to follow him to a place he'd never been, didn't know how to get there, and wouldn't know he was there until he got there!

 

And what did Abram do?  He went. 

 

He took God up on the challenge, to fulfill him like nothing ever would, to follow this God who had created the universe.  

 

When God shows up in our lives, He brings mercy and grace, He brings love and life and faith, and sometimes He messes everything up.  He turns our plans upside down and inside out and we find ourselves somewhere where we've never planned on being.   Most of the time when God shows up in our lives, we end up asking God…"Where are we going?"

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update

I didn't mean to take a sabbatical from blogging…though it seems as though I did.  It has been very difficult for me to put my words down on paper/screen the last month or so.   I changed jobs, which put me through a mini-anxiety attack with all the transitional issues and struggles of leaving people and starting over with new.   This past month has been one of insanity as the storm raged in the middle of the transition.  Little fires mostly, but just like real fire, several little ones can add up to an entire forest fire…which is what I felt like I was trying to put out for a few days.  

 

But now as I'm settling into this new position and my routine is becoming more normal, my sanity level has returned to a normal state, which I will not try to justify!

 

A quick update on where we are in ministry.  I've not said much about it on the blog, but we have stepped into the waters once again.   This time, it's on our own terms though.  My wife and I along with about 10 of our friends are beginning our own new church start.   We've been meeting for a few months now as a bible study group of friends, supporting one another in our issues with the CLB and working toward healing.  But we all knew that God wasn't going to let us just stay that way on our own.   So now a new journey has begun…

 

Joanne and I are founding our personal ministry called "Grace Unlimited Ministries," under which the church start will be placed.   We don't have a name for the church yet, but we are working on it.  It's quite crazy when you get a bunch of friends together to try to come up with a name for a church, not religious and not traditional in any sense.   Some of the name offerings have been quite funny.

 

Another update.  My daughter is growing up so much.  I was watching her sleep last night and it just takes my breath away.   She'll be nine in a couple of months and it's breaking my heart.  She's growing into a beautiful woman…which is wonderful and terrifying at the same time.   I can't believe the little girl who sits on my lap will some day grow up to be a young man's wife.  It increases my prayer life…as does everything lately!

 

Well, I promise to get back on this blogging horse, so please check back with me.  I will be writing again, especially now on this journey of church starting.   This weekend we're going to be dreaming about who and what we will be.  Maybe I'll share some of those dreams next week.   Until then, blessings.

me vs. thee

I was thinking last night that I believe, at least, for me, the whole of Christianity, this life of faith in God, is boiled down to how much we can trust.  I know I’ve written post after post and taught message after message about this subject, but it truly, for me, is what it keeps coming back to.

 

How much can I trust God to be who he said he will be to me?  How much do I place my trust in my plans versus his plans?  Why is it so hard for me to abandon my schemes and plots and just simply be still (stop moving, fretting, fighting, worrying) and know that he is God.  How I handle this issue in my life doesn’t determine whether or not I will have problems or not, but it will determine my response to them and whether or not I handle them appropriately.  Let’s just say lately it’s been a struggle. 

 

Trust is such a big issue.  It’s funny because I have a pretty easy time trusting other people, but when it comes to handling life and issues that arise where I need to trust God’s provision or guidance or just simply his presence, I struggle.  I don’t know if this comes from a wound still unhealed, having had spiritual fathers in my life fail me or misrepresent God to me or if its simply a standard human struggle, but it’s there. 

 

I keep thinking of that wonderful line in Evan Almighty.  (I know it didn’t do well in the box office, but I really liked it and it had a really good message.)  God tells Evan, “When someone prays for patience, I don’t give it to them, but I give them opportunities to be patient.”  And so on, and so on.  I keep telling God that I want to trust him more and better, but last night I told him I really could use him lightening up on the opportunities to trust him!!  Thank God he understands all my craziness. 

 

Anyway, if you’re reading this and you want to jump into conversation on this, leave me a comment.  How do you do trusting God?  Is it hard for you?  Do you find yourself scrambling to find “plan B” if God doesn’t seem to come through?  What’s your take?  And if you have the secret to trusting God better, share it with all of us.  I’m open, wide open!! 

Lisa

I lost a friend today. She was about 40 years old, a Children's pastor and a wonderful person. She and I served together on our college class officer board and worked together on the college yearbook. She was from my wife's home church growing up. She died today of cancer.

I really don't know what to write here, except to say that cancer sucks. I wish I would have had the chance to talk with her. I actually did, but didn't take it. She had so many visitors in and out and calls of encouragement and love, I'm sure that she was blessed in her final days knowing she was so loved. It's not that she needed me to call, I needed to, but didn't. I'll see her again one day in heaven and we'll talk then.

Makes you want to hug those you love real tight.

you might be...

Here is a great list that I found through Emerging Grace. It's by Larry Chouinard.

You Might Have Missional Tendencies If . . .
1. You talk more about the Kingdom of God than you do your local church.

2. You are more in awe of the radical Jesus than you are the charisma of your pastor/preacher.

3. You feel a greater sense of community in the parking lot than in the pews.

4. You've oftened muttered leaving a 'church service', "there's got to be more to it than this".

5. You've often wondered why the church couldn't meet in the park or Starbucks once in a while.

6. You've cringed at the coldness and indifference of church people when someone shows up at our 'church service' that looks and smells different.

7. You've wondered why Christians only hang-out with Christians when Jesus seemingly never missed an opportunity to party with the riff-raff.

8. You've wondered what God does the other six days of the week.

9. You've had the urge to spill your guts to the next artificial inquiry, "I'm fine, how are you?".

10. You've had the compelling urge to join the preacher at the podium to present an alternative perspective.

11. You've wanted to fall to your knees while everyone stood for another happy-clappy song.

12. You've wanted to close a 'service' by shouting from your pew, "NOW WHAT?"

13. You sometimes find more spiritual depth and authenticity in the lives of those who do not go to church.

lesson learned #6

“When one door closes, another opens; but we often looks so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.”  Thomas Jefferson

 

Lesson learned:  don’t let the closed doors keep you from looking toward the open ones. 

 

I don’t know if Thomas Jefferson is the one who coined that phrase or not, but I’ve used it to describe the closing of one event/season in our lives and I’m sure that you have too.  But what I hadn’t seen until today was the rest of the quote and it maybe more true than the first part. 

 

Those of us who have walked through loss, whether it is a job, relationship, church, or death, find ourselves sometimes at the closed door.  Depending on the day, we might pound our fists upon it until our hands bleed, cursing it for closing just when it did.  Maybe simply give up looking anywhere else, because so desperately had placed all of our hopes and dreams on that open door that we cannot believe anything ever good can come from another door.    

 

But this is where we fail.  This is when we miss the point.  God never says no to one thing, without saying yes to another.  Granted, it may not be what we have planned or wanted even, yet the Father’s truest intention is for our good.  Why sit us at the closed door when he who can open the doors no man can shut has something more perfect in mind for us?

 

Let us look away from the closed door.  Unless the Lord opens it, it will never open.  Our stare, our camping out by its frame will not make it open any faster.  Let us look away, to him…and see if he has not done what he has promised:  to give us hope and a future, and a better one at that!  (Jeremiah 29:11)

 

little faith

“Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?"  (Mark 4:38-40 NIV)

An excerpt from Stan Jordan’s “Prevailing Winds”:

 

“The entire point of Jesus’ rebuke was that the disciples did not think that He cared about them.  They did not believe that He would keep them from harm.  This is probably the hardest thing in the world for us to come to grips with: the fact that Jesus Christ, the Son of the Almighty God of the universe, loves us deeply and is daily concerned about us, our affairs and our well-being.  How can we become convinced of this, convinced enough so that it will make a difference in our daily walk?  For some it comes in an instant when they become born again, while for others it only comes after years of experiences in Christianity.  This knowing may never come to some because they fail to develop an intimate relationship with God.  Somehow, though, we must become convinced of the fact of Christ’s intimate love for us—despite and regardless of the situations we may have to face down.” (pgs 105-6)

 

I wanted to take a look at this statement because it has so much to say about what I’ve been learning and talking about in previous posts.  I’ve looked at those scriptures where Jesus rebuked the disciples for a lack of faith and felt he was talking about their lack of faith in regard to doing the miraculous, like he did.  But here Stan points out something that is so important to us:  He wants us to have faith in his love for us!

 

This is the cornerstone of our walk with him, yet it is the hardest for us to believe.  And why?  Because those who have represented him in our lives, either purposefully or coincidentally fail to love unconditionally.

 

Before we get indignant, though, we must remember that it’s not necessarily their fault.  Even though some have made purposeful actions that would us and scar the feet of our trust, it is more likely that they, just like us, are human and fail to love perfectly.  What we must recognize is that it is the enemy of our souls that takes the wounds and makes them personal attacks.  It is the enemy who says that God is holding out on us, that he doesn’t love us enough to do for us or be for us who we desire. 

 

The Bible calls the devil “the accuser of the brethren.”  But even more than just our brothers, he accuses God to us.  We must learn to recognize that voice when it comes to accuse God in our ears.  For his words are not truth, but fabrications made that when we fail to see Him move in our lives, we are quick to listen to him rather than have faith that God is on our side, through thick and thin.  As Paul said, we must not be “ignorant of his devices.”

 

the church in ashes

I want to share something from John Eldredge’s Daily Readings devotional today:

"Have you no other daughters?” “No,” said the man. “There is a little stunted kitchen wench which my late wife left behind her, but she cannot be the bride.” The King’s son said he was to send her up to him; but the stepmother answered, “Oh no, she is much too dirty, she cannot show herself!” But he absolutely insisted on it, and Cinderella had to be called. She first washed her hands and face clean, and then went and bowed down before the King’s son, who gave her the golden slipper. Then she seated herself on a stool, drew her foot out of the heavy wooden shoe, and put it into the slipper, which fit like a glove. And when she rose up and the King’s son looked at her face, he recognized the beautiful maiden who had danced with him and cried, “This is the true bride!” The stepmother and two sisters were horrified and became pale with rage; he, however, took Cinderella on his horse and rode away with her.

I love this part of the story—to see the heroine unveiled in all her glory. To have her, finally, rise up to her full height. Mocked, hated, laughed at, spit upon—Cinderella is the one the slipper fits; she’s the one the prince is in love with; she’s the true bride. Just as we are.” (Waking the Dead , 71–72)

I love the way John puts this analogy to the church, but I want to take it just a little bit further.

God is in love with his bride, and he is seeking her out. Don’t be surprised when you see her come to him with soot and ashes on her from the religious stepparent who has tried to subjugate her in performance and legalism, but never allowing her to experience the true freedom of being loved by the King!

I think one thing I’ve learned before even my CLB experience, but also now it’s reaffirmed, is that the church is those who are called out…from wherever they are found. The Good Shepherd is seeking all the sheep, not just the ones who look like they belong, not just those who play the religious rules, but those who know no religious structure or form and those who have been enslaved by the stepparent who has taken the place of the true Father and taught them to perform duty rather than enjoy intimacy. These are those people who love God because he has saved their lives from hell, but not just to stick them in a religious circus to make them perform like the world used to, but for freedom!!

Paul said that this was why we were saved…for freedom. Religion has for so long ordered what spirituality and Christianity would look like that now when God is invading the spiritual bubble and popping it, all the masks are being challenged. It’s uncomfortable to have our masks ripped away. It’s unsettling to have to think about why we believe what we do and wonder if what we’ve always believed is really true. It’s unnerving to hear the voice of the Spirit come through someone or something other than our “accepted” procedure and protocols.

It demands us to take notice, to reconcile the fact that we are undone and do not know it all or have it all together. It demands us to recognize a God we’ve not seen before, one who refuses to be defined by man’s feeble speech and reason. It demands us to lay aside our religious standards and protocols and look to the God of mercy for definition and discernment.

There is a slipper in the hand of the Prince today. Maybe he’s looking for us, will we shake off the oppression and soot, or will we allow the conduct of others keep us hidden away by religion and hypocrisy? Maybe there’s a slipper in our hand, and a commission to find those in the shadows…

lesson learned #5

I've been trying to remember and purposely write down some of the lessons that I've learned over the last year as I've journeyed away from my CLB and discovering God's new road and plan for us. I just read a great article on the hindrances to grace, an article you'd love to read.

But it sparked a thought of another thing I've learned over the last year: God's grace has nothing to do with what I can do.

I know that this is the central theme of the Gospel, but I have learned this year that grace (favor) of God is so much more than simply salvation from sin. The grace of God that we've encountered this year is so sufficient. It truly doesn't depend on how good I am, or even how spiritual I may be. God's grace has been wrought in my life, because Jesus died for me to have it and I receive it by faith. It is not anything I can purchase through my works.

We just got done studying in Acts where the sorcerer was trying to buy the gift of the Holy Spirit from Peter. And we think, how ridiculous to believe you could buy a gift of God, but yet we do it all the time. We think that if we are "spiritual," we'll get more from God, or that because we tithe or that we pray 4 hours a day, that God will bless us. Sure, these activities are important and will help us grow spiritually, they definitely won't hurt us, but they are not the currency through which we buy the grace of God.

This is the lesson. Again, we have to place our trust in someone other than ourselves. I think this may be the greatest of all the struggles that Christians have. We all struggle with learning how to not depend on ourselves, but to lean wholly onto God and trust His provision in every arena of life.

It is funny; the other day Joanne and I were talking about this and I mentioned how God had been providing very specifically for us lately and I actually said, "I am so glad to see that God is taking care of us and every time he comes through just when we need him to, but I just don't like having to trust him!!" But this is the truth of where we as disciples are, Jesus was always saying, "oh, you have such little faith." It wasn't that we don't believe he can do it, we just want to do it for him, or be independant from him and make it work ourselves. It's the original lie...to be like him, without the sacrifice.

So this lesson learned: it's not by my works, my efforts, my spirituality that I can do anything, but ONLY by his grace.

through the looking glass

In the midst of my looking back over the last year, I came across this great article by "robbymac" called "Through the Looking Glass." Take a couple of minutes and read it. It highlights what may be wrong with how we have approached leadership in the past. It is a good signpost for us as we move into the future. I'll try to blog more on this later.

lesson learned #4

When you grow up, you start as a child (son or daughter) and you pass through the processes of discipline and structure to build character and integrity helping ready you to be an adult. It is your parent’s responsibility to teach you the right paths and help you gain wisdom from your experiences. There are many times you change hats throughout childhood and adolescence, in which you could be called “son/daughter”, “pupil”, and “servant.” But there is a great day that takes place, and it’s not always recognized by our parents or even by ourselves, but there is a threshold we cross over into “friendship.”

Now we find ourselves in new territory where our parent is now a friend, a peer. Though we will always (or should always) respect and honor, and at times still obey, our parents, it’s this great new adventure of relationship that we embark on which challenges us. How to become friends with our parents??

But what I’ve learned over this year is not so much about earthly parents, but the Heavenly Parent. The progression of maturity in our walk with God is not so that we can remain servants without a voice and only good enough to serve, nor is it only for us to have a familial tie that passes an inheritance on and little else. No, God’s desire in maturing us in our relationship with him is so that we can be his friends.

I’m reminded of two passages of scripture. In the first, Abraham is called the “friend of God.” What a unique and awesome title. It is not to be lightly looked upon, but recognized that this is a high honor. To be known as the friend of a head of state or king, is not a laughing matter, for a friend is one who is given preference and favor. And to be known as God’s friend must be the highest of all favors.

The second passage is when Jesus gathers his disciples before the end of his earthly ministry and says to them, “I no longer call you servants, but friends.” What joy they had to feel. In that day, rabbis would take on students and “disciple” them, but they would always be known as the “disciple of…” In this sweeping statement, Jesus is not just making them feel good and telling them how much he loves them (though he is doing that), he is also telling them they are peers. He is not looking down on them, but raising them to his side.

God loves us so much that he desires to take us from being mere children or mere servants, to friends. And like the fulfillment that we find in our friendship with our earthly parents, which can only take place as we mature and listen to them and grow from their wisdom, so to we will find a fulfillment in the friendship found in growing through the discipleship of Jesus.

Lesson learned: God wants me to be his friend.

lesson learned #3

*I am called by God not by man.  Simple enough again, but truth is sometimes we can get too wrapped up in what man has to say about our spiritual lives, its direction and destiny.  I believe more today than ever that God’s calling is without repentance (going back on it, changing His mind), whatever that call may be.  And that only He can define that call to us and for us.  Others will be put in our lives to hone the gifts/callings, and some will be there to confirm those gifts and callings, but only God can define them and set us apart for them.  I believe that people have a place in our fulfilling the “call” on our lives.  We are not an island and we cannot have an “independent spirit,” but it still is our responsibility to know God for ourselves and to follow His direction.  No one else will stand with us in heaven as we give an account of what we did with that which God gave us.  So it is my responsibility to know what God has said and to follow Him. 

 

More to come…

 

lesson learned #2

*Church is not what we’ve made it to be.  I think of the song “The Heart of Worship,” and the lyric that says, “I’m sorry, Lord, for the thing I’ve made it, when it’s all about you…”  The song is specifically speaking of worshipping God, but I am applying it to church in general.  I’ve taught for years that church is a people on the journey of faith, living faith together, seeking to know and become like Christ, but now I see it more clearly than ever. 

 

Paul wrote to the early church:  “greetings to the church that meets in so-and-so’s house.”  He was recognizing that the church wasn’t the house, but the people who met in the house.  Because of this awareness, church has happened in so many ways or places in the last year.  (I can see a new t-shirt:  “church happens.”)  But it does and it has.  The people who have met with me for coffee, for dinner, for fellowship, for study, to lead, all these have been the church for me.  We have discovered this great calling out from our lives and worlds to share together in the walk of faith.  I am looking forward to what God has in store for us as a community of friends on a journey.

 

 

lessons learned

As I mentioned in the earlier post, we are coming up on a year since we left the CLB and I thought yesterday, I should purposely look at an affirm the things that I’ve learned over this past year.  So here are some of those treasures in dark places I’ve found:

 

*Friendships.  It seems strange to write that I learned about friendships in a year that I feel as though I’ve lost a ton, but in actuality I’ve gained and discovered a whole lot more than I thought.  When you leave a ministry that you’ve been in for as long as we were, you lose a lot of friends.  (Those that are in more traditional style settings may not understand, because they never have had to deal with the rigidity of order that comes with a church like we were in.  Many are told not to associate with you when you leave the type of church we were in, due to fear of “contamination” or “defilement.”) 

 

But in the course of leaving and coming into our own, we have found that our truest friends are still our true friends.  Some left when we did, some didn’t, but yet true friends remain loyal, even in spite of differences.  I also learned that I had friends on the outside of my circle that I didn’t know.  Some came out of the woodwork to bless us when we were without a job for 10 weeks and had no income whatsoever.  Others prayed for us and supported us without even knowing their name until several months later.  

 

I am a big believer in relationship and friendship.  There are personalities in our world that are more task-oriented, and thank God that they are here, because without them we’d never get anything done, but I’m definitely a people-oriented personality.  I enjoy friendships, take them seriously and am loyal to my own hurt most of the time for them.  I believe this is why my life change hurt so badly.  But those who have truly loved us have participated in our healing and supported us through the long season of change.

 

the heart knows

I read an “offbeat news” story today that told of a woman whose heart had to be restarted by an internal defibrillator on the week to the day of her father’s death, while standing at the grave of her sister-in-law (who had died at the news of the man’s death.)  You can read it here. 

 

As tragic as that story was, with the occurrence of grief and death, it made a statement that rung in my heart, because I believe it to be true:  "The concept of anniversary reaction is that it is a response to the unconscious sense of time. Just because you aren't thinking that it is exactly seven days later ... a part of your mind ... is thinking that…"

 

It is odd; I can believe it because I’ve found myself turning inward at the first anniversary of our life/ministry change.  It will be a year next week we left our CLB.  It has been a long road to recovery.  Recovering emotionally, spiritually, socially, from the loss of those you trusted, who no longer believe in or support you.  It has been a long year of discovery teaching us that sometimes crisis like we’ve been through has worked a deeper thing in us.  It has led us to rediscover our truest selves and the real callings of our souls.  It has taught us who our friends are, something unfortunately are usually only found in days like these. 

 

But there has been almost unconscious, gradual sadness over what has been lost, as we have neared the anniversary.  But also mixed in with it is peace.  Peace and confidence that we have survived, even more so, we’ve grown.  We didn’t die, we didn’t lose everything, and we didn’t fail.  God has been close, closer sometimes than ever before.  Trust, as I wrote in earlier posts, can be a trying lesson that a friend likened as riding a bike with training wheels on and off.  But learning to trust, in spite of the hardship of it, is a treasure that we will take into the future.  Now our hearts can rest in the fact that there is a future.

 

There is a purpose in the places that God walks us through.  In Isaiah, God says, “I will give you the treasures of darkness and riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the Lord, the God of Israel who summons you by name.”  (Isaiah 45:3, NIV)  Cool, treasures and riches!!  But to find them we have to walk the dark places and go through seasons of feeling hidden and unwanted and unknown to find them.  And why does he do this?  So we will know that He is God and that he has called us by our names.  That alone is treasure.  That is also riches untold.  To be known by the Most High, and loved. 

 

The heart knows.