reasons for writing

How fast a couple of months go by.  I can't believe it's been two months since I last blogged.  There have been some precipitating issues that have caused my retreat from writing, but it should not have stopped me.  It shocks me that I've been so lax in writing.  Yet, I'm not surprised as recently my writing has begun to be vulnerable and I'm scared at times to plunge the depths of my own vulnerability, especially on a public level.  And on top of that, recently my writing and love for blogging became a target of accusation and attack.  So the thought of stepping back out of the boat of safety and conformity is cause for a bit of trepidation. 

 

But writing is important to me.  Blogging has been a spiritual discipline for me.  It is a place where I have worked out some of my most frustrating or puzzling struggles with life and faith and church and such.  It's not an easy place as a pastor to put yourself on the line like that.  Especially coming from the old paradigm that the pastor/leader must portray themselves as having it all together, without doubt and fear.  (The reasoning is "who would follow someone who doesn't have it together?" But I find that I can trust better someone who knows they are not all together perfect rather than one who falsely believes their God's next chosen son.)

 

Even if no one ever reads what I write, it's important that I write.  That I pray through my issues in the spiritual practice of journal/blogging.  It's more about me than the others who will read along with my journey.  Not that I don't want to hear from those who walk/read my journey.  I do.  But it is more about the audience of One who hears and knows before keyboard is struck or word is thought.  I need His attention to these words.  I need to hear His voice in response.  I need to feel His hand on my shoulder as I wrestle through these things. 

 

So if you read these notes I make along the journey, welcome, drop me a line occasionally, especially if I drop off the radar as I have of late.  Tell me to keep at it.  We need traveling companions.  Thanks for reading.