the gate of forgiveness

I want to look at one more gate that we must pass when we’re in the process of healing, which is probably the biggest and one that we may have to stay at for awhile.  This is the gate of forgiveness.  Like the city gate that the angel opened for Peter, we will only be able to walk through this gate by the grace of God.  It is not something we can do on our own.

 

I believe forgiveness is the ultimate of processes, especially in relation to healing.

 

Forgiveness is not “forgive and forget,” as many people believe, causing them grief that they cannot forget what was done to them.  This only brings them to believe that they have not forgiven.  Forgiveness is also not erasing what has happened and not applying consequences to the offender’s behavior.  In fact, forgiving someone is almost more for our benefit than theirs. 

 

One of the definition of forgiveness is to “release your right to revenge” against those who have harmed you.  This is not a feeling, but a decision, much like love is also a decision that we make to choose someone else’s good over our own.  The emotion of releasing someone of their sin against us may not be automatic, most likely it won’t be.  It takes time.  Process.  Work.  Depending on the offense, it may take many times of us choosing to release someone.  But as we are committed to put the offending party in God’s hands and not take it into our own hands, we will find that eventually there will come a feeling of forgiveness toward that person. 

 

It’s an act of our will, realizing that we can do nothing to reverse time and “do over” the situation, and entrust them to God.  He will deal with their hearts.  And even if they never repent or ask forgiveness of us, we will be free for we will have obeyed God. 

 

Again, this is not something we can do on our own.  It may be that we will need friends to help us walk out this forgiveness, or that we may need counseling to let go of the emotions, but the first act is a decision to forgive and we will see that God’s grace will open up the gates and set us free.