ashes

From dust we came, to dust we will return. 

 

The ashes of Ash Wednesday are symbolic of the very essence of our mortality.  Our focus is to remind ourselves that without God we are nothing but dust.  It is in him that we live and move and have our being.

 

Our society would tell us that we make our own way in this life.  That it is up to us to create our own destiny.  But let's be honest. 

 

Did you decide to be born?

Did you tell your heart to beat just now, sending the blood coursing through your veins?

Did you decide to breath and keep oxygen in your body so that you can stay conscious?

What power do we have over life? 

 

The only power we truly have is what we do with this life we've been given.  Life is a gift. 

 

We have the power to make right choices with the life we've been given.

We have the power to turn away from the wrong choices that will take away from the life we have been given.

We have the power to turn over our life to the Master and Creator of life that he might make it more than just inhabited dust, and fulfill his purpose and plan in us.

 

The Bible says that we will one day stand before Christ's throne and our works (the deeds we did in this life) will be judged by fire.  Those worthy of his plan and purpose in our lives will be refined as gold and silver are purified by the fire.  Those that do not emanate out of his plan and his purpose will be burned up, leaving behind ash.

 

What things are you holding onto today that will not last in eternity?  What things are holding you from your destiny?

 

The Bible says of King David, "…and fulfilling God's purpose in his generation, David died."  What is keeping you from fulfilling God purpose in your generation?

 

Is it a sin…an action or an attitude that does not glorify God?

Is it a prejudice or a habit that detracts from the grace that you've experienced from God?

Is it that really good thing that is fun or profitable for you, but takes away from your family and from your purpose in God's plan?

 

Hebrews 12 says, "Let us strip away every sin and weight that slows us down in this race of endurance…"

 

Faith is not a sprint, but a marathon of endurance.  We have to take measures to give up those things that will slow us down, that we can find grace…energy…to continue the race.  Let us set our eyes on Christ who has gone before us.

 

kingdom grace post

Kingdom Grace has some very interesting things to say about prophetic and apostolic ministry today.  Take a minute and check it out:

 

http://kingdomgrace.wordpress.com/2008/02/04/temple-tantrum/

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"Do not ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and go do that.  Because what the world needs are men who have come alive."  - Gil Bailie

seventeen and nine

Seventeen years ago today, on a beach in Barrington, RI, my wife and I took our first date. Two and a half years later, in October of 1993 we were married.  I remember starting the car after we had closed the church up and all our friends and family had gone and I looked at her and said, "well, here we go on the our great adventure."  And so it has been. 

 

Looking back, I still see no reason why we survived those first few years.  The only way I can see is that we had the grace of God and we had each other.  We weren't the typical newlyweds fighting it out trying to figure out each other, for we were blessed to have had great mentors and spiritual friends who had prepared us for this experience called marriage and we faced each day as a team.  That doesn't mean there weren't bumps in the road, for every journey has its holes in the road, and surprising twists, but we made it. 

 

The little five room apartment that could fit in the living room and dining room I have now was a great little place to begin our lives together.  It was old.  My great grandfather had built the building it was in and it showed, but we made it a home.  Funny now, how we are running out of space in our two-story home with a basement, but yet, we had all we needed in that little apartment.

 

After spending over a year trying to figure out God's plan for us, we found ourselves in new adventures still as we moved into ministry and eventually full-time ministry, paying more than we had made yet, but still not paying enough!  We found our love of ministry and we poured out our lives into the lives of young people, teens and young adults, even though we ourselves were merely young adults.  But we did it together.

 

Going to work together, living together, some people thought, "Are you crazy?"  But we made it work.  But there was still more that we needed…someone to share our love.  Isn't this the reason we desire and have children, so that we can love them?  I taught Sunday at church that God created us to love us and this is the reason we have children as well, so that we can love them…and we wanted a child, too.

 

Nine years ago today, on the eighth anniversary of our first date, my beautiful little girl was born.  The apple of Daddy's eye and pride of Mommy's heart.  She has filled our lives with such joy and happiness. 

 

Yesterday I got to spend a few hours with my daughter, taking in the Hannah Montana 3-D Movie Concert, but most of all watching her and being in awe of her joy.  I am amazed at her growth and maturing into the woman she is becoming. 

 

I am doubly blessed today to share a special day, a special date on the calendar, the day I received the two greatest blessings of my life: my two women, my wife and daughter.  I love them more today than ever before, and am so humbled that God chose me for them.  Thank you Lord.  I owe you everything.

yesterday

Yesterday, my family and I went out for lunch and in doing so we saw an area minister we used fellowship with from time to time.   Together, we used to be involved in a pastor's group for our city.  It was the first time I had seen this person since leaving the CLB.  We were one booth over and as I sat down, I said hello to him.  Grinning politely, he nodded and said hello and that was that. 

 

Barring trying to read more into this than is real, there was a part of me that was hurt.  He hasn't seen me for over a year and a half, never has spoken to me or reached out to find out why I had disappeared from the ministerial scene, and this, being the first time seeing me, I expected more.   Maybe this is selfish on my part, but would it be too hard to stop by on the way out and say, "How are you doing?"  I guess, in all fairness, I should have gotten up from my table and went and said it to him, but I'm the one who's been missing, you know?

 

God forgive me if I've been this way in the past.  I hope that I've not ignored or chosen to refuse a friendly encounter, simply because someone was no longer in the company of my fellowship.   I probably have.  We reap what we sow, so I probably have sown my own hurt feelings.  For that I'm truly sorry.   I can say that there have been others I have seen since leaving and have went out of my way to say hello to them.  Although, I must confess sometimes I have done it to gauge the response I'd receive from them.   And thankfully, most of the time, it's been pleasant and a blessing to both of us.  But still this bothers me…

 

How can the church continue to be the church with factions and divisions based on whose loyal or disloyal to whom?   Isn't this whole church thing supposed to be about Jesus?  Are we not first and foremost supposed to be loyal to him?

 

Didn't Paul rebuke people for saying they were for him or they were with Apollos? 

 

"I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe's household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. What I mean is this: One of you says, "I follow Paul"; another, "I follow Apollos"; another, "I follow Cephas a"; still another, "I follow Christ."   Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized into b the name of Paul?" (1 Corinthians 1:10-13, TNIV)

 

What does the modern-day church do with this scripture?  We must learn to wrestle with these things before it tears up more hearts, lives, and churches.

 

Could it be that Jesus was warning us when he told the disciples to call no man "father"?

 

"But you are not to be called 'Rabbi,' for you have only one Master and you are all brothers.   And do not call anyone on earth 'father,' for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.  Nor are you to be called 'teacher,' for you have one Teacher, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted." (Matthew 23:8-12, TNIV)

 

God give us grace to be humble enough to realize that our game isn't the only game in town, that our yoke (interpretation) of the scripture isn't the only yoke there is.   Give us grace to learn how to bless those who walk a different road, even if it means leaving our side.  Teach us how to love, even when we don't really know the whole story, and give us the opportunities and desire to ask the questions to find the story they long to share.   Forgive us where we've snubbed, turned away and lost heart.  Heal us where we are wounded, that we may become strongest in the broken places.

dreams on a deadline

New Year's resolutions never really work for me. I know I struggle with the willpower to adhere to some well meaning platitudes of what I will do in the new year to turn over a new leaf. Yesterday I was reading Paul Viera's blog (in the list to the right), and he said that he doesn't do resolutions, but sets goals for the new year. He said that "goals are dreams with a deadline." So I was thinking about some goals I need to set for myself for this coming year. I'm not sure if it will make it more impact than resolutions, but here are some goals I want to set for myself this year:

• Leave 2008 at least 25 pounds lighter than I came in. Of course that means I have to lay off Coca-Cola and chocolate, and I don't know if I can or not, but it's only 2 pounds a month. I should be able to cut back enough for that. We'll see.
• Get through all the paperwork rigmarole to get our tax-exempt status for our ministry. My wife and I just incorporated our ministry, Grace Unlimited Ministries, and are in the process of planting a church, which will come under the status of our ministry. So it's important that we get this aspect of ministry in today's world done.
• To launch the church this year. I don't want to rush anything. Anyone who knows me, knows I'm more "slow and steady wins the race," than "Speedy Gonzales" out the gate. But I do want to see our community to be able to go public this year, inviting others to join this journey with us and help people connect with God in a new and exciting way. (Of course, this means we need to have a name for said community, of which we do not have yet. Pray for me, I have name issues.)
• I would like to finish the rewrite of the book I wrote a couple years ago, but never published. I'm glad now that I never published it, because after my bout with the CLB, I now have to do some serious reworking, as I've learned a whole lot more about what I am writing than I did then. So maybe this will be the year I finish the book that has taken seven years to write.
• The fear of failure and the loss of confidence that we experienced going through our church left behind journey makes things harder sometimes than they should. I definitely want to leave 2008 with more confidence and belief in myself than I've come into it with. I want to leave this experience that scarred us so deeply, yet some days I feel like it will never heal. It's like a scar that itches and when I scratch it, it brings up the memories of what set it there in the first place. We're 18 months from it, yet it still echoes.
• The last one (because I don't want to have too many and mess them up) is more of a continuing commitment, rather than a goal or resolution. I want to be more present with my wife and daughter. Not that I'm absent or not available, but I want to be more "in the moment" with them. I want to not lose these precious years with Sarah, simply going through the motions. I want to be the man that they both need me to be. God, give me grace.

Wow, sorry, didn't plan for this to be so open. Well, God, here are some dreams, help us get to the deadline on time.

blank page

I hate the blank page.  As someone who loves to write, putting words to paper, the idea of wanting to write, but not knowing what to write or how to begin can be depressing.   Today is one of those days.  And normally that's when I just say, forget it, and don't post anything, but I'm forcing myself today, because this is supposed to be a spiritual discipline—to keep up my writing and to practice getting my words out of my head/heart and out where others can benefit from it.  

 

The phrase "blank page" reminds me of the song "Unwritten" by Natasha Bedingfield.  I'm sure you've heard it a thousand times by now, since it is on every commercial nowadays, but here's a sampling of the lyrics:

 

I am unwritten,

Can't read my mind, I'm undefined
I'm just beginning,

 The pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate

The words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

 ["Unwritten" lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]

What a freeing song!  I think that's why I like it so much.  It speaks to those deep, closely kept questions in our heart that we all have:   what will we be?  What will we look like?  How will we be unfolded before others to see?   Will we be unfolded?  We don't want to be exposed, but we do want to be revealed. 

 

"The creation waits in eager expectation for the children of God to be revealed."   (Romans 8: 19 TNIV)  What is this revelation?  I believe it is when we understand who we really are in Christ and what he has and continues to do in our lives.   I believe it is when the blank page of our lives suddenly begins to have writing on it…when we begin to live in this amazing grace to our fullness.  "Live full lives in the fullness of God!" (paraphrase of Ephesians 3:19)  Am I there yet?  No way, but that's where I want to be, to be reaching for.

 

One of my favorite quotes is one I found through John Eldredge by Saint Iraenus:  "The glory of God is man fully alive."  God receives glory (significance, value, weight, honor) when we, his creation, is fully alive, living out of our purpose and out of our core being.   It is when we pass from just "doing" to "being."  And Gil Bailie wrote: "Do not ask what the world needs.  Ask what makes you come alive and go do that.  Because what the world needs are men who have come alive."   This is the quote on my signature for my email to remind me and all who get my emails that the world needs us to be alive!

 

It is my prayer as I look at the blank pages before me, as many behind me have been written, but more lay ahead, that I would truly live in those pages and not just endure to the end or clock in my time.   And when I look at the blank pages of my church, in its fetal stages, the book barely cracked open and the binding not bent, I pray that the stories and words that fill it will be ones of love and hope and life.  

 

I guess I did have something to say today.

ranting

There is s a commercial on TV lately advertising for an area pastor who broadcasts his Sunday morning services.   The ad shows a clip from his sermon, screaming and flailing his arms around.  That's all fine, if that's what gets it for you, but it was the last statement that got me angry.  

 

"If God won't heal you right now, He'll never heal you." 

 

What the crap?  Where is that in scripture?  What picture does that paint of God?  

 

So if the person in need of help and healing doesn't get it instantaneously, does that mean it's their fault?   That God hasn't deemed them worthy of healing?  Is it because they are not "good enough" or jumped through enough hoops to get healed?

 

Again, what picture does that paint of God…of grace?

 

I keep coming back to these thoughts about how I've been taught about God.  I can't seem to shake it.   For so many years I've been taught by men and women of God that I have to do, be, give, walk, pray, think, confess, feel a certain way or God would not be on my side, not be available to me.  Essentially, God is watching and waiting for me to go through the obstacle course to get to him and get what I need from him, and if I screw it up, "back to the beginning…start all over!"  

 

I know I've written about this before, and you're probably getting sick of it, but I have to talk about it, I have to wrestle with this.   This is for my survival; this is for my detox from religion. 

 

The writer of Hebrews wrote that because of the sacrifice of Jesus, because of his resurrecting from the dead, we can now "come BOLDLY to the throne of grace."   This doesn't sound like jumping through hoops and clearing moralistic hurdles to prove my worthiness…my worthiness was settled in the cross. 

 

This doesn't mean I don't think we should be intentional about our walk with God and desire to grow through spiritual disciplines.   But our status with God, our relationship with God is not based upon what I offer or don't offer him.  I cannot accomplish what Jesus has already done for me.   No amount of performance can make me look better in his eyes. 

 

I remember a friend I had in Bible College my freshman year wrote in my yearbook, remember, God can't love you more today than he did yesterday and he will not love you any less or more tomorrow.   His love is constant toward you.  I can't influence his level of love for me.  He loves.   He is love.  I just have to dwell in it, rest in it, trust it, enjoy it.

 

Those who commit to this legalistic, performance view of following God must be most miserable, especially those who teach it and promote it, because this thought and ideology is never full, never enough.   Rob Bell used the altar to the angry gods idea to illustrate this.  (See my post on Rob's tour.)  There is always more that has to be given and sacrificed because we have to stay in good so that the blessing remains on our lives.   I think this is why some of have had some extravagant failures before the whole world.  The pressure to keep up the game, to work so hard to prove your good enough, worthy enough, in good with God enough, opens a door for exhaustion and temptation that belies a hypocrisy hidden in their heart:   it doesn't work this way!  It can't. 

 

I think this is one reason why those who pastor/preach this way continue to demand more and more of their followers, because they have to keep the machine going, otherwise they might find out who's "behind the curtain."   It becomes this vicious cycle that only continues until someone either jumps out or the curtain comes crashing down and everyone discovers that it doesn't work!

 

I believe there is a new day coming to the church.  It is a day of awakening that our spiritual duties we've put so much stock in, though good on it's own, face value sort of way, doesn't qualify as proof of our status with God or grant us special favor from him.   No, it is by grace that we're saved, and by grace that we live, and by grace we are kept.

Santa vs Jesus MAC Commercial

This is a great video done by friends of mine at the church we attend. Hope you enjoy it.

support

A while back I told someone that I see myself filling a support role in almost everything I do.  When I look back at my life and the jobs that I've had, the ministries I've been in, I always seem to be in a support role, helping other people fulfill what they have to do.   Even now, as an "administrative assistant," I find myself "assisting" other people get their projects and other assignments done. 

 

I was kind of pondering this one day, wondering how this role I seem to play all the time either work or have to change as I take on the pastor hat again.   For years, I learned either by implication or by actual messages, that the leader takes the front and everyone follows.  (Typical CLB teaching.)   And honestly I would get frustrated about that sometimes, as I don't always feel comfortable with the leader role.  Even though I was a full-time pastor for eleven years, and even led groups as the primary pastor/leader, I always saw myself as the supporter of our senior pastor and his vision.   (This is actually what got me "in trouble" in the end, as I was accused of supporting the wrong person.  To this day, God has yet to tell me I was wrong.)

 

My pondering led to me to this thought, a shepherd is one who supports the sheep.  Yes, he leads them, but it's his loving support that endears them to him and makes them trust him.   It's not about his great communication skills or strategic planning that causes them to follow, but his support and love.  They know that their shepherd lives with them and will be there for them.   He supports them, with love and wisdom and guidance. 

 

Maybe this is why I play a support role in life.  I enjoy helping other people find their place in life and in faith.   I love watching them connect with God in a new and exciting way.  I love to bring a new way of looking at God's word to them that they "get it."

 

Maybe this is why the CEO model of ministry and pastoring/church is failing and people are rejecting it.  CEO doesn't look out for the people under him, but only for the bottom line and the expansion of the business.  But a pastor can come up underneath someone and help them, support them, cheer them on to their destinies, and in the long run fulfill their own.  

 

I guess I'm okay with my support role, though now it's becoming a bit more complex.  At least I know I'm used to it!    

glory

Glory to God in the highest…

 

We sing that phrase a lot this time of year in all kinds of Christmas carols.  I always think about all the people who have no real relationship to Christ or the church, but every year as they walk through their malls or at home while decorating their Christmas trees, sing these words and others like them.   I wonder how much of these words get into their heart.  How many of them realize that at that moment, they are offering praise to a God that they have not yet met, but loves them more than they can imagine.

 

Makes me think that God had this planned from the beginning…because if God's word cannot come back to him void, and many are singing the very words sometimes that comes from scripture, is there something happening they don't know or can't see?   Is God right there with them…ministering life to them?  Is he lifting burdens they've never asked to have lifted?   Is he 'wooing' them with his love, stirring their heart to know this God? 

 

The word glory is often defined from the original languages of scripture as "weight" or "significance."  Could it be that instead of this glowing light we imagine glory to be that rests on saint's heads, that glory is really the weight of who he is?  The value you place on someone in your life adds to their weight.   We say "we give weight to their words."  We place value on their spot in our lives.  We give them glory.  

 

The scripture says that the whole earth is filled with the glory of God.  And for years I thought that meant there would be a tangible presence of God in every place on earth.   But maybe what it really means is that the significance and relevance of God is displayed in every corner of the globe? 

 

If glory is the weight or value or significance that we place on God, then glory isn't just something that comes with God, but it's something that we offer God; something that we give out of our very beings.   The more we do it, the more we see him in our day to day life.  The more we see him, the more tangible his presence comes to our mind and hearts.   The more tangible he is in our lives, the more others can experience him…his glory covers the earth.

 

What do you and I give significance to?  What value do we place on God's position in our lives?   Where do we offer him glory?  When we do we participate in the filling of the earth with all that he is.  Give him glory!